Trish Transforms : Reclaiming my Life

January 11, 2015 Trish Transforms 38

I’m typing this up and right now I don’t even know if I’m going to press publish or not (edit – obviously I did!  I’m still not sure, I might end up deleting this).  We’ll see.  It’s like a private problem but then again weight is never private.  It’s out there for all to see.




I have a long history with weight loss and weight gain.  I’m the classic yoyo dieter and I’m sick of it.  I want 2015 to be my last time losing weight.  I want to beat this problem for once and for all and maybe going public will help me and maybe even help someone else who is beating themselves up over the same thing.  About 4 years ago, I lost a lot of weight and felt great.  I really thought I had this sorted.  I was eating properly, exercising a lot and loving it.  It wasn’t a chore, it was just my life and I was happy.

But then I got a huge knock back in my life about 18 months ago.  We realised that due to the international adoption situation in Ireland that we were never going to be able to adopt and after 7 years of dedicating our lives to the pursuit of this, we withdrew our application.  It was the toughest time of my life and being an emotional eater, I ate my way through the pain.  Now though I have dealt with the closure of that chapter of my life and I feel ready, willing and able to tackle the weight again.

And I have lots of things in my favour.  I love running.  I enjoy eating healthy and I know how good I feel when I’m the weight I used to be.  So I’m not beating myself up for putting on the weight.  Shit happens and you just have to deal with and move on.  I tried a few times last year to get back on the wagon but I just wasn’t ready.  Now I feel I’m 100% emotionally and physically ready to tackle this so onwards and downwards!

The Goal

– Hit my target weight (I’ve a long way to go but I’m not ready to put a figure on this yet).

– Feel good in my clothes

– Run in 5ks and 10ks regularly

My Losing Weight Plan

– building myself up slowly to run 5k.  This will take a while as I have been doing very little exercise lately.  But there is no rush, this is for life and there is no deadline attached.

– counting my points.  Weight watchers works for me.  And I use an app on my phone to track the points so it doesn’t feel like an effort to track them.

– to track no matter how good or bad I’ve been

– drinking water.

– being easy on myself.  If I slip up, I’m just going to pick myself up and get back on track.  This is the hardest thing for me to do as I can be an all or nothing person but I’m working hard on this.

– I’m only going to weigh myself once every two weeks as I don’t want to get obsessed by the scales.


Wish me luck!  I’m going to be blogging on this regularly but not to any particular schedule.  Probably once or twice a month.  And as always if you are only here for the books, don’t worry they will be back on the blog tomorrow!

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38 Responses to “Trish Transforms : Reclaiming my Life”

    • trish

      Hugs! Thank you. Now if only I knew someone whose mother was a WW leader and who had loads of tips to pass….and who would add a healthy living section to her blog……if only!

  1. Charleen

    I know how tough this can be and I’ve been in (/am in) the same boat. About four years ago, same as you, I lost almost 60 pounds just with simple lifestyle changes, no crazy diets or work out plans… but then a switch flipped off in my brain and I started slipping… and slipping… and slipping…

    It’s so hard when the motivation isn’t there, and there’s really no way to force it. The best we can do is keep trying. One slip doesn’t have to become ten. Every day (heck, every moment) is a new chance to start fresh.

    Good luck!
    Charleen recently posted…Bout of Books 12 – Day Five

    • trish

      I know what you mean about that switch. It works both ways. I find until I’m 100% in the zone, I just can’t lose weight. I keep forgetting that I have the power to flip that switch myself. This year I want to just accept that bad days happen and just try to turn them around asap as unfortunately I can let a bad day turn into 6 months. At least I’m fully aware of that now and will try not to let that happen.
      And you have the best excuse in the world not to worry about this right now!

  2. Donna @ OnDBookshelf

    Good for you, and there should be no shame in putting this out there. There are so many people who need to lose weight, not just to feel better, but for health reasons. I always struggle with about 10 pounds, which doesn’t sound like much, but it’s a constant up and down battle with the same 10 pounds. My mom died at the age of 72 from complications related to her weight, so it’s always out there for me. I will be rooting for you 🙂
    Donna @ OnDBookshelf recently posted…Review: The Moment of Everything

    • trish

      I think when it comes to weight and not being happy, it doesn’t matter how big or small the number is. It is stopping you for feeling fully happy about yourself. Thanks for your support and good luck keeping off those 10 pounds!

  3. Katherine @ I Wish I Lived in a Library

    Sounds like you’ve laid out some great goals. I need to get better about the tracking good or bad. I’m really good about tracking good days but not great about tracking bad days. Good luck with your goals and especially remember the one about being easy on yourself. I can’t imagine the grief you’ve gone through with all this. I’m so sorry.
    Katherine @ I Wish I Lived in a Library recently posted…This Week in Reading – January 11

    • trish

      Thanks for your support Katherine. I actually got a great tip about tracking from another book blogger and that is to reward yourself for every 7 days of tracking. It doesn’t matter what the food choices were, as long as they were tracked you get a reward. I think this will work really well for me as I have trouble tracking on ‘bad’ days too.

    • trish

      Thank you Shaina! Exactly I want this to be about balance and accept that the bad choices will happen. But I want to make a lot more good ones than bad ones 🙂

  4. kimbacaffeinate

    I am glad you posted this, sometimes getting it out there and making yourself accountable is just what you need. I wasn’t aware of the difficulties in Ireland regarding adoption and hope laws are passed to change it. It angers me when there are folks who are able and willing. I go up and down with my weight and always end up back to where it all began give or take 5 lbs. For me the focus has been on eating healthy and moving. We are hear to support you..
    kimbacaffeinate recently posted…Sunday Post #142 -Spent my week with a hellhound

    • trish

      The adoption laws are beyond frustrating for all involved and any laws passing are making it harder and not easier. There were hundreds of couples in the same situation as us and who had to face a similar decision. It’s so wrong. But I can’t change it (believe me, we tried) and so I’ve moved on.
      Thanks for your support!

    • trish

      That’s the best way to do it Ana. It is the only thing the works in the long term and although I’m counting weight watchers points, that is really what I’m doing too. That and moving my ass more!

  5. Dee @ Dee's Reads

    oh my gosh I completely believe that you can do this honey! You really DO have a lot in your favor (you like running, you achieved your goal weight and only recently went over). You’re absolutely right that it does happen to us all. I used to be stick thin high metabolism my whole life. then i got sick and my lupus showed itself and the steroids I was (am still on but lower dose) made me retain so much water I constantly looked like a balloon lol. Whats worse is that I couldn’t eat a lot of Vit K, bc of my blood clotting problems. Vit K is in pretty much EVERY SINGLE GREEN–even in blueberries! I couldn’t consume more than 3 servings of Vit K a day. For ex: one serving would be a 1 cup of blueberries. another would e 1 cup of Romaine lettuce, and 1/3 cup of broccoli. I gained 75 lbs total in the past 3-4 years. The illness and being in the hospital first made me lose then I gained and gained bc I couldn’t be active (dr said I couldn’t even do yoga for months!) combined with strict diet of limited greens and veggies meant a surefire path toward obesity, which spiraled me into depression and more eating. :c

    I’m happy to say that I recently became very active and with working agiain and my health improving they are lowering my steroids. I eat fruit all the time, almonds and Cliff Bars in the morning so I don’t miss that morning meal (I don’t eat usually until it’s after noon, i’m weird). long story short: I lost a total of 45 lbs and to reach my goal and “pre-lupus” weight that I was at in 2010 I want to lose 20-30 lbs in 2015. By continuing to eat super healthy, be active, and hopefully still de-escalate the prednisone steroid too.
    I agree with you that it just feels so much better. I had bought two pairs of jeans when I first was losing weight 3 months ago. It’s funny because now, those same jeans need a belt. This morning they fell down as I was walking around the house getting ready! I was so happy! 😀 I think the fact that you aren’t using a scale often, only every 2 weeks is another great thing. Scale fixation is pointless. I go by how I feel and how my clothes fit. you will see space / wrnkles in your jeans and pants where there weren’t any. Or no tummy bulge in a certain tighter t-shirt, for ex. Those things make me so happy lmao.

    I wrote a book! Sorry if you don’t like long comments lol. I just want to encourage you and share my story– it happens to us all!!
    Dee @ Dee’s Reads recently posted…Dee’s Creations: How a DIY Confetti Frame reignited my Artsy/Crafty side

    • trish

      Well done Dee! That is a fantastic weight loss story especially with so many odds stacked against you. Taking medication and have such limited choices just makes it all so complicated for you, so I’m really proud that you didn’t let it stop you getting to your goal. It just goes to show that when you want it hard enough and are determined that you can make it happen.
      I know you’ll get those 20/30 pounds out of the way in no time and I can’t wait to hear when you make it!

      And yes, it’s important to note and celebrate all the little achievements like clothes getting too big. It’s exciting and makes you realise just how far you’ve come. I can’t wait until I’m spotting stuff like that.

      And don’t ever apologise for long blog comments on here, you know I love hearing from you! 🙂

  6. Rachel

    Sorry to hear that, Trish. I’m very ignorant of these things and how they work, but I’m glad you’re in a place where you’re motivated to get healthy and be positive. I did Slimming World towards the end of 2013 and lost 1 and a half stone. I started my diploma course and couldn’t keep up with classes but I’ve tried to keep doing it myself for the past year. I’ve gained 7 lbs, which I don’t feel great about, as the 1 and a half off originally didn’t mean I’d hit target, but as of last week I’m back to doing “proper” Slimming World, as in no cheating! I have my last exam next week and then I’m hoping to go back to classes again to inspire me and spur me on. I haven’t set a final goal yet either, as I’ve no idea what I want it to be, but I’m imagining another 14-21lbs anyway. Another perk, SW cleared up my psoriasis that I’d suffer from on my arms every now and then, so another reason to stick at it! Fingers crossed for both of us, and good luck! R x
    Rachel recently posted…Review: Bad Feminist

    • trish

      I know lots of people love Slimming World and it definitely works so hopefully this will be your year too. I’m already used to the WW system of points counting and it fits in well with my life and personality so I’m going with that. I do dip in and out of the Slimming World recipes though, they are fab! Have you tried their mushy pea/bean curry, it sounds awful but it’s delicious!
      And that’s great that it clears up your psoriasis too, a nice side effect 🙂
      Good luck, we WILL do it!

      • Rachel

        Some of the recipes are brilliant! Yes, I did try that one, and it is so good even with the barmy ingredients! Have to say though I couldn’t get the image of the individual ingredients out of my head, was a strange eating experience! Would probably enjoy it more if someone else made it and I didn’t have to see peas and beans mixing together!! R x
        Rachel recently posted…Review: Never Never

    • trish

      Thanks Anna, I feel very fired up and determined to get back into all my old favourite clothes! It’s gonna happen!

  7. Byddi Lee

    Trish you can do this and blogging about it was very brave and very smart. I’m sorry that your life plans changed course – sometime the tiller on our life just won’t steer us the way we want to go. I look forward to jubilant blogs about new clothes and feeling gorgeous!
    Byddi Lee recently posted…The Tufty Club and other stories

    • trish

      Thank you Byddi! I feel so determined and focused right now that by sheer will I’m going to make this happen. It’s important to me and I can’t wait till I’m blogging about new clothes (or even fitting back into old ones!). Thanks for your support 🙂

  8. steph from

    I love Weight Watchers and have stayed in my range since 2001. I haven;t always been at my preferred slightly underweight level but in range is where I was. Now I am where I need to be which is just under the WW range. I log once in a while.

    My wake up call came the day of some skin cancer surgery — sometimes it’s something that ticks you over the line either way.

    Good for you getting back on track!
    steph from recently posted…Sunday Post: Apropos of Nothing — It’s A Chelsea Morning

  9. R_Hunt @ View From My Home

    Congrats on your determination and willpower– you will do this! I suggest just paying attention to how you feel and how your clothes fit, and then weigh in just once a month. The health of the body is more important than the actual number, though that of course counts too. Since you are a runner, you’re improving on my sides: food/exercise.

    I had a sleeve gastrectomy last year, where they remove half of your stomach–gone for good, but my depression allows me to overeat on occasion and I probably have stretched it a bit, causing me to gain about 7 lbs of the 60 lost back again. Wrong direction– ugh! I hope to improve in 2015… but my word of the year is ACCEPTANCE, definitely not just in weight but in my day-to-day mistakes, my feelings, my self-esteem. I am tired of beating myself up for whom I perceive myself to be, so I am seeing a therapist and it is starting to help me to “see the light”.

    Rambling on, but cheers to you and your continued success. I appreciate you sharing your grief, but you have accepted it is in your past and can move on, which is all we can do in life: remember the past but keep our eyes forward on the road ahead…
    R_Hunt @ View From My Home recently posted…Cold Cold Heart Review

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